Munches are public, non-play, social events. Our munches are a great place to ask questions, meet a moderator, get verified for parties, and meet or catch up with friends.

It’s a safe space to meet other members of the community, network, and learn about upcoming events. We design them to be low-key, low-pressure, and low-structure.

Everyone 18+ is welcome to come to our munches. You don’t need to have already met a moderator–this is where you do that! Read more about how to get verified to attend parties here!

• We enforce a no outing policy at our munches.
  • Dress code is vanilla unless otherwise specified.
  • Please be mindful of your volume and the proximity of staff/other guests in conversation, unless the space is clearly separated from vanilla patrons.
  • Please refer to the Outing Policy in our Code of Conduct for more information.
• We ask that whenever possible, attendees support the business hosting our munch.
• Minky runs with a tight budget, and some of our venues charge us a fee. We encourage donations of $5-10 so we can keep running events, but they are not mandatory.
• For attendees 21+, responsible alcohol consumption is allowed at venues that provide the option.
• Drug use is not permitted at munch sites or during the munch.
• Don’t be creepy. Our munches are intended to be casual and comfortable social club gatherings, not meet markets.
• If an attendee is making you uncomfortable, let a mod know and we will address the behavior to the best of our abilities.

Play parties are on the second Saturday of the month! In order to attend parties, guests and members must RSVP through our Discord and have met a moderator. Learn more at: https://minkymn.org/how-to-get-verified-for-minky-parties-and-rsvp/

We ask that members bring a potluck food item to share and a $10-20 donation to help cover costs of hosting as possible. Reach out to mods if this entry donation is prohibitive.

We typically have a workshop/facilitated discussion at each party, around 8:00 PM. Topics are announced on Discord.

Please take time before the party to familiarize yourself with Minky’s Code of Conduct! By attending, you are agreeing to abide by and respect the CoC. On this page, you’ll find the party rules section, but please ensure you’ve also reviewed things like our outing policy and consent policy. https://minkymn.org/posts/code_of_conduct/

Have questions? Check our Play Party FAQ (https://minkymn.org/party-faq/) or contact the Minky moderation team (Contact Us).

Before the Play Party

• Discord Pre-Party Chat Channels
  • Upon invitation, if you are on our Discord server, you will see a new group of channels related to the month’s party. You can get to know people who are attending prior to the party, discuss what food(s) you are bringing, carpooling options, and plan and share scene ideas/requests! If you didn’t get added to the channels and think you should’ve been, reach out to @Zara or @Sciencesub on discord. If you don’t want to be in these channels for whatever reason, you can ask a mod to remove you.
• Arrival/Departure/Smoking Considerations
  • We take party arrival/departure behavior seriously. We do not wish to out our hosts, inconvenience them or their neighbors, or draw attention from law enforcement. We ask that your arrive in inconspicuous clothing and change into other clothes inside Please transport your toys discreetly Please monitor conversation volume and content when arriving/departing

House Rules for Play Parties

Each party will have house rules unique to that host. Please read them in your invitation email!

Minky Play Party Rules

Minky has an emphasis on providing a safe, positive environment to learn and explore your sexuality. With that in mind, we place very few limits on what you can and can’t do at a party, and we encourage you to ask others about a skill that you see them using (after they are finished with their scene). However, we do treat the following rules very seriously.

There will always be a designated Dungeon Monitor (or ‘DM’) managing the play space at any Minky party. They can be identified by a hi-vis sash. The DM will typically only step in if safety, party rules, or community standards are in jeopardy. They are also there to monitor spatial awareness of those in the dungeon, and to monitor the general tone of the room (lighting, music, volume, traffic).

Minky party rules are to be used in conjunction with the host dungeon’s rules. Whenever the rules conflict, err on the side of the host dungeon’s rules. When in doubt, ask a moderator first.

Respect our Community

• Bring your ID
  • We will need to see your ID We can’t make exceptions to let you into the party if you forget your ID, so please make sure to bring it! We understand that the name on your ID may not match your name; ID’s shown to the mod team are kept strictly confidential, and we will have name tags for you to write your name and pronouns.

• Help Prevent the Spread of Infectious Illnesses 

  • Minky does not require proof of vaccinations to attend our parties, because proof of vaccination is no longer being provided along with shots and boosters. We still strongly recommend everyone be vaccinated for COVID-19, the flu, and any other vaccinations recommended by your healthcare provider. In addition, if you are experiencing infectious illness symptoms of any kind, please do not attend the party. We do not wish our parties to become super-spreader events, even if it’s “just a cold”. Contact a moderator to let us know you are sick, and we will not count the no-show against you for future events. Minky has basic surgical masks available for use should anyone need one.

• Respect the Location and Your Hosts

  • Please be respectful of the hosts of the party and their home. Clean up your trash and empty cans into the appropriate bins. Take your shoes off at the door/don’t track dirt and salt around the house. Wear appropriate clothing when outside the dungeon location and in view of non-consenting outsiders. Please keep play to the dungeon area.

• Respect the Dungeon Space 

  • Always dispose of any trash produced in a scene. Clean the equipment you have used as soon as reasonably possible after a scene so that others may use the space. A simple cleaning rule for most dungeon furniture is that it should be slightly visibly wet after being wiped-down. Cleaning supplies are provided by Minky. Always take precautions to reduce the risk of damaging bedding, furniture, carpeting, etc. When in doubt about how to use or protect a certain space, check with a DM. Members may be held responsible for any damages that result from negligent or careless behavior. Ask before doing something most people would consider messy (body fluid concerns, bloodplay, wax play, water, fireplay, etc.).

• No Drugs or Alcohol

  • Do not bring drugs or alcohol to the party; you will be removed from the party immediately. You must arrive sober, or you will not be allowed entry.

• No Outing

  • Anything that happens at a Minky party stays there. “Outing” is sharing any details such as the location, the participants, or the activities at the party to anyone who was not present at the party without the express permission of the person(s) involved. Outing is a serious offense, and can lead to job loss, public humiliation, and other serious repercussions. If you out someone and it results in harm to that person, you will be banned from future events. Kink is an extremely personal and vulnerable journey to many people, and it’s important to not broadcast those vulnerabilities to others without permission, even across other Minky spaces.

Playing and Safety

• Do Not Interrupt a Scene
  • It’s not part of BDSM party culture to ask to join a scene that is already going on, or to approach anyone participating in it, as it can pull people out of the headspace they are enjoying and negotiation needs to take place before scenes, not during. Joining a scene without prior negotiation is considered a consent violation. If you see something that looks dangerous or non-consensual, talk to a moderator, but do not interrupt. Keep volume to a minimum in the dungeon; keep socializing to the social area upstairs. Do not get in the way of the flogger, whip, or whatever other implement may be flying about. Whether you are playing or watching, leave space for scenes in the dungeon space.

• No (Uninvited) Touching

  • Do not touch anyone unless you know it is OK with that person to do so. Do not touch anyone else’s toys without permission. Always ask, even if you get strange looks for being so polite. Remember that the host may have their personal toys on display in the dungeon – this is not an invitation to use them. Do not approach a participant during or immediately after a scene.

• Be Aware of the Risks of Playing

  • Parties are about having fun, but there is risk inherent in the kind of fun we have. Strive to mitigate issues that may compromise consent, but recognize that all play carries risk. Most of the time when things “go wrong” in BDSM, there was no malicious intent, but the harm and impact is there. Acknowledging this inherent risk is not an excuse to blame someone that is harmed or say they “should’ve known better.” Play with willingness to accept consequences, and to offer support if things go wrong. Minky is not liable for your behavior. However, a DM or Minky moderator may stop your scene if they feel that it is unsafe. They may either ask you to end the scene or continue in a different manner. If you want to try something new, ask someone to teach you or assist you.

• Use Safewords

  • Safewords do not replace negotiation, communication, and on-going consent during a scene, as they are typically used after a problem has already happened and are unreliable as BDSM activities can trigger a physiological fight-flight-or-freeze response. However, please recognize the use of safewords. People often use the stop light system of: Green (“This is good, keep going!”), Yellow (“Stop what you’re doing, I need a break, come check in with me”), Red (“Stop everything now, scene over”). There are also non-verbal safewords, such as tapping out or dropping keys on the ground.

• Scene and Play Safer

  • Minky places very few limits on what play is allowed at parties. Penetrative sex is allowed at Minky parties. A selection of safer sex materials are available in play spaces; please bring your own as well. If your scene focuses around elements that, outside of negotiated kink, would go against our We Believe or Safer Space Commitment statements, check in with the DM before you begin. Examples of scenes which require this consideration include race-play, gender play (feminization and other gender fetishes), and non-consent roleplay. Depending on the space, you may be asked to change plans, scene in a specific space, adjust your volume, or save your scene for elsewhere. No firearms or tasers are permitted at any party, carried personally or as part of a scene.

Minky is a consent-forward club committed to the development of a safe, inclusive, trauma-informed, and consent-based culture. Minky policy dictates that leadership believe and support our reporters/survivors. We hold as a central value that to do so helps keep not only our survivors but our whole community safer. Our consent policy is a standard to which we hold our membership in any interaction. Reports of violations at Minky events, in Minky’s online spaces, and in private interactions can all result in moderator intervention and action. As is the case in any private club, attending Minky events is a privilege, not a right, and we reserve the right to limit access as necessary. Violation of the consent policy may result in expulsion from an event or the group. No member, moderator, host, or guest is exempt from the following rules.

Minky’s Consent Policy

1. 1. Never touch people or personal property without explicit permission.
   2. Do not engage in verbal role-play, honorifics or name-calling unless you have express permission. For example, don’t use honorifics like “sir” or “miss” or titles like “slave,” “mistress,” or “daddy” to refer to yourself during a scene or to refer to others unless you have negotiated consent to use them.
   3. Negotiate the scope of your scene prior to play. Before the scene begins, it must be clear to everyone participating in the scene that all parties have given consent to all proposed acts.
   4. Know and communicate your personal risk profile. Allow all participants, be they top or bottom, to make an informed personal risk assessment in regards to what risks they are accepting by playing with you. If your specific risk factors for a scene place extraordinary or special risk onto participants and those risks are not communicated during negotiation, that may be a violation of consent regardless of if the scene goes well or not. Each participant is responsible for ensuring to the best of their ability that everyone involved has the mental and emotional ability for informed enthusiastic consent.
   5. Participants can withdraw consent, make a nonverbal safesign, or use the universal safeword “Red” at any time. Once consent is withdrawn, the activity must stop immediately. Dungeon Monitors (DMs) will be enforcing immediate cessation of play at “Red” or another safeword that has been previously shared with the event’s monitors. Partners are responsible for sharing which safewords or safesigns are being used. Let the DM know if you are using a non-standard or non-verbal safe word.
   6. We advise against renegotiating at any point during a scene. There is an elevated risk for compromised consent when in an altered state of mind such as subspace, domspace, or fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. During a scene, “negotiating up” in a way that trespasses a partner’s boundaries, from the top or the bottom, will be considered a consent violation if it is reported as a violation to the organization, and will be handled accordingly.
   7. If your consent is violated while at an event, we invite you to tell a DM or another moderator as you feel comfortable doing so. Swift action can be taken at the behest of the reporter. Violation of the consent policy may result in immediate action, up to and including expulsion from the event and/or group.
   8. If your consent is violated by a member or someone outside of Minky and you wish to reach out:
      • At an event: tell a DM or other moderator. We will work with you towards re-establishing safety and comfort. Depending on the situation, we may request a follow-up report after the fact.
      • Outside of one of our events: The best way to contact us by Discord direct messaging a single mod, or create a “support/report” ticket to the entire mod team. Or, email at minkymods@minkymn.org with pertinent information. We will confirm we received your email. We may have follow up questions for you in order to determine your and our community’s safety and to then determine our best course of action.
      • We understand that processing a violation can take time. There is no time limit on how long you can wait to reach out to Minky leadership.
   9. Upon receiving a consent violation report, we will support the injured party in asking what course of action will make them feel safe in our space, and based on the information we receive we will communicate our decision to the violating party; up to and including expulsion from the group.
   10. Harassment or bullying of any kind is not permitted. If you harass a member or moderator in person, on our online community, in personal communication, or on Fetlife, you are in violation of our community standards and consent policy, and the situation will be evaluated on a case-by-case basis.
   11. While every reasonable effort will be made to enforce this policy, this organization makes no representations or guarantees about its ability to do so, and all participants/attendees retain full, sole responsibility for their safety and the safety of others with whom they interact.