Prior to party questions!
Q1: So… what happens at parties? A: Play parties are a relaxed atmosphere split between a social area with food and socializing, and play space in the dungeon. In the social area you can eat and chat and negotiate play with others, and in the dungeon space you can watch scenes and play! Parties are a no pressure atmosphere–you can engage and play as much or as little as you like. It’s also worth mentioning that our play parties do not allow any drugs or alcohol. You can read more here (https://minkymn.org/parties/), and full rules for the location will be sent with invitations.
Q2: Why do I need to include the first and last name on my ID with my RSVP? A: We host adult parties and, like most adult spaces, we ID at the door. If you are trans and your name does not match your ID, please feel welcome to RSVP at the top with your name. There is a second field, required for everyone, to confirm the first and last name on your ID. This information is only used by the mod team to check ID and is kept confidential; we have nametags at the door to write your name (or scene name) and pronouns.
Q3: What time should I arrive? A: Most people arrive between 7 and 8pm. We usually do a Reading of the Rules around 8pm and often a discussion/workshop.
Q4: Do I have to stay the entire time? A: Nope! The party goes from 7pm-1am, but you can attend as much or as little of the party as you want. The busiest hours of the party are usually 8pm-midnight.
Q5: I can come early to help set up! A: That’s really nice of you, but please ask a moderator first. We appreciate the help, but sometimes end up with a “too many cooks” situation.
Q6: What is your COVID-19 vaccination policy? A: We are requiring proof of your COVID-19 vaccines for entrance to the party. We do check these at the door, so please bring your proof with you. Your proof can be your physical vaccination card, a photo of your card, or digital records such as the Dockett app.
Q7: I haven’t gotten my booster yet. Is that okay? A: We recognize COVID-19 misinformation/disinformation is extremely prevalent and sometimes confusing. Compounding that with changing recommendations by the CDC, it can be difficult to know when you are due for a booster. We also do not want to penalize someone who was late to get vaccinated, thus not having X numbers of shots. Minky asks for a good faith effort towards getting vaccinated in order to protect our community.
Q8: What is the entrance fee? A: Unless otherwise specified, we ask for a $10-20 donation per person. This covers the cost of drinks, plates, napkins, safer sex supplies, gifts for the hosts, and more. Minky’s monthly operating budget is right around $200, but the more we bring in, the more we can reinvest in the group, including hosting events like educational workshops. If this donation is prohibitive to you, please contact a moderator.
Q9: What should I bring to the potluck? A: Check out the potluck-food channel for ideas and discussions! People sometimes feel lazy for “only grabbing a bag of chips”, but that is equally important to a good potluck as pizza, fried chicken, or a salad. Please bring whatever you feel comfortable providing.
Q10: What else should I bring? A: You should bring your own toys of course–whatever you like to play with at a party. We will have latex condoms/nitrile gloves/cleaning supplies, but you should provide your own lube/other condoms if you need them. Pick-up games (anything that is easy to join/drop out, as well as taught in just a few minutes) are great. Some people like to bring crafts (embroidery/coloring books/chain mail) to do while hanging out with people.
Q11: Should I bring first aid stuff? A: It’s always great to throw some basic supplies into your toy bag! We have a supply kit for parties to cover most basic emergency needs, that anyone is allowed to use. It has ibuprofen, acetaminophen, Benadryl, Tums, tampons, and pads. We also have an actual first aid kit with bandages, gauze, safety shears, etc.
Q12: What should I wear to the party? Is there a dress code? A: We have seen every level of dress at parties. T-shirt/jeans. Sundresses. Full suit and tie. Evening ball gown. Leather. Full-body latex. Lingerie. Corsets. Even pajamas. In short: wear what makes you feel comfortable and confident!
Q13: Aftercare at parties? A: There are two major party spaces: the social space, which is divided into living room and kitchen, and dungeon space, which has play furniture and sofas. People typically cuddle/chill on the sofas in the basement until they’re feeling good. It’s also expected that of you are using aftercare space, but not in aftercare, to give up the space to someone who needs it.
Q14: How do I knock? Is there a secret handshake? A: The front door will usually be shut for privacy, but will unlocked during party hours. Please do not knock or ring the doorbell!
Q15: I RSVP’d but now I can’t go! A: Just let one of our moderators know! Life has a way of being life and is not always predictable. We simply ask that you can let us know ASAP if your plans change/make you unable to attend.
Q16: Something happened to me. I feel bad because I don’t want the person to get banned, but I was hurt. What do I do? A: The mod team is here for you. If and when you feel comfortable, you can reach out to anyone on the mod team. We will listen and validate your feelings and talk about the best course of action that makes you feel safe again and prevents further harm. There is no time limit on reporting something that has happened to you.
Q17: What about sexual wellness testing? A: Minky often trends a little more sexual than many BDSM parties do. It’s normal and okay to ask someone to see a test result, and also normal and okay to bring test results (or digital records) easily to a party and event. Sexual health is not something to stigmatize or hide from and everyone should be getting tested frequently. Flatly lying about STI status can be a consent violation and sometimes illegal. Our outing policy in our code of conduct (https://minkymn.org/code_of_conduct/) does include STI status: “Exposing without consent someone’s medical or STI status”
So if someone shares that with you, it’s not something to just consider public knowledge and share with others. Minky does also provide an assortment of safer sex supplies at parties IE condoms.
Q18: What do I do with my coat, shoes, and toybag? A: We do our best to provide house tours if you haven’t been to the location before, but keep the following in mind!
Shoes – Please take shoes off at the door, or in some cases by host, take them off at the door and bring them to the designated room. If you are going to wear shoes inside, please ensure they are indoor-only shoes and clean.
Coats – Depending on the host, coats may be stored by the door, or in a designated room. Ask if you’re not sure!
Toybags – Depending on the host, you’ll either put it in a designated room, or there will be space in the dungeon areas to put your bag down. Again, just ask a mod if you need help!