Play parties are on the second Saturday of the month! In order to attend parties, guests and members must RSVP through our Discord and have met a moderator. Learn more at: https://minkymn.org/how-to-get-verified-for-minky-parties-and-rsvp/

We ask that members bring a potluck food item to share and a $10-20 donation to help cover costs of hosting as possible. Reach out to mods if this entry donation is prohibitive.

We typically have a workshop/facilitated discussion at each party, around 8:00 PM. Topics are announced on Discord.

Please take time before the party to familiarize yourself with Minky’s Code of Conduct! By attending, you are agreeing to abide by and respect the CoC. On this page, you’ll find the party rules section, but please ensure you’ve also reviewed things like our outing policy and consent policy. https://minkymn.org/posts/code_of_conduct/

Have questions? Check our Play Party FAQ (https://minkymn.org/party-faq/) or contact the Minky moderation team (Contact Us).

Going to your first party? Read some advice we have here: https://minkymn.org/first-play-party-tips-advice/

Are you new to kink and BDSM? We have a glossary and guide for BDSM that has a lot of information: https://minkymn.org/glossary-kink-bdsm/

Before the Play Party

Discord Pre-Party Chat Channels

Upon invitation, if you are on our Discord server, you will see a new group of channels related to the month’s party. You can get to know people who are attending prior to the party, discuss what food(s) you are bringing, carpooling options, and plan and share scene ideas/requests! If you didn’t get added to the channels and think you should’ve been, reach out to @Zara or @Sciencesub on discord, or force close your Discord app or reboot your phone as there may be a Discord caching error. If you don’t want to be in these channels for whatever reason, you can ask a mod to remove you.

Arrival/Departure/Smoking Considerations

We take party arrival/departure behavior seriously. We do not wish to out our hosts, inconvenience them or their neighbors, or draw attention from law enforcement. We ask that your arrive in inconspicuous clothing and change into other clothes inside Please transport your toys discreetly Please monitor conversation volume and content when arriving/departing.

House Rules for Play Parties

Each party will have house rules unique to that host. Please read them in your invitation email!

Minky Play Party Rules:

Minky has an emphasis on providing a safe, positive environment to learn and explore your sexuality. With that in mind, we place very few limits on what you can and can’t do at a party, and we encourage you to ask others about a skill that you see them using (after they are finished with their scene). However, we do treat the following rules very seriously.

There will always be a designated Dungeon Monitor (or ‘DM’) managing the play space at any Minky party. They can be identified by a hi-vis sash. The DM will typically only step in if safety, party rules, or community standards are in jeopardy. They are also there to monitor spatial awareness of those in the dungeon, and to monitor the general tone of the room (lighting, music, volume, traffic).

Minky party rules are to be used in conjunction with the host dungeon’s rules. Whenever the rules conflict, err on the side of the host dungeon’s rules. When in doubt, ask a moderator first.

Respecting our Community

Bring your ID

We will need to see your ID. We can’t make exceptions to let you into the party if you forget your ID, so please make sure to bring it! We understand that the name on your ID may not match your name; ID’s shown to the mod team are kept strictly confidential, and we will have name tags for you to write your name and pronouns.

Help Prevent the Spread of Infectious Illnesses

Minky does not require proof of vaccinations to attend our parties, because proof of vaccination is no longer being provided along with shots and boosters. We still strongly recommend everyone be vaccinated for COVID-19, the flu, and any other vaccinations recommended by your healthcare provider. In addition, if you are experiencing infectious illness symptoms of any kind, please do not attend the party. We do not wish our parties to become super-spreader events, even if it’s “just a cold”. Contact a moderator to let us know you are sick, and we will not count the no-show against you for future events. Minky has basic surgical masks available for use should anyone need one.

Respect the Location and Your Hosts

Please be respectful of the hosts of the party and their home. Clean up your trash and empty cans into the appropriate bins. Take your shoes off at the door/don’t track dirt and salt around the house.

Wear appropriate clothing when outside the dungeon location and in view of non-consenting outsiders. Please keep play to the dungeon area.

Respect the Dungeon Space

Always dispose of any trash produced in a scene. Clean the equipment you have used as soon as reasonably possible after a scene so that others may use the space. A simple cleaning rule for most dungeon furniture is that it should be slightly visibly wet after being wiped-down. Cleaning supplies are provided by Minky.

Always take precautions to reduce the risk of damaging bedding, furniture, carpeting, etc. When in doubt about how to use or protect a certain space, check with a DM. Members may be held responsible for any damages that result from negligent or careless behavior.

Ask before doing something most people would consider messy (body fluid concerns, bloodplay, wax play, water, fireplay, etc.).

No Drugs or Alcohol

Do not bring drugs or alcohol to the party; you will be removed from the party immediately. You must arrive sober, or you will not be allowed entry.

No Outing

Anything that happens at a Minky party stays there. “Outing” is sharing any details such as the location, the participants, or the activities at the party to anyone who was not present at the party without the express permission of the person(s) involved. Outing is a serious offense, and can lead to job loss, public humiliation, and other serious repercussions. If you out someone and it results in harm to that person, you will be banned from future events. Kink is an extremely personal and vulnerable journey to many people, and it’s important to not broadcast those vulnerabilities to others without permission, even across other Minky spaces.

Playing and Safety

Do Not Interrupt a Scene

It’s not part of BDSM party culture to ask to join a scene that is already going on, or to approach anyone participating in it, as it can pull people out of the headspace they are enjoying and negotiation needs to take place before scenes, not during. Joining a scene without prior negotiation is considered a consent violation. If you see something that looks dangerous or non-consensual, talk to a moderator, but do not interrupt. Keep volume to a minimum in the dungeon; keep socializing to the social area upstairs. Do not get in the way of the flogger, whip, or whatever other implement may be flying about. Whether you are playing or watching, leave space for scenes in the dungeon space. Do not approach a participant during or immediately after a scene.

No (Uninvited) Touching

Do not touch anyone unless you know it is OK with that person to do so. Do not touch anyone else’s toys without permission. Always ask, even if you get strange looks for being so polite. Remember that the host may have their personal toys on display in the dungeon – this is not an invitation to use them.

Be Aware of the Risks of Playing

Parties are about having fun, but there is risk inherent in the kind of fun we have. Strive to mitigate issues that may compromise consent, but recognize that all play carries risk. Most of the time when things “go wrong” in BDSM, there was no malicious intent, but the harm and impact is there. Acknowledging this inherent risk is not an excuse to blame someone that is harmed or say they “should’ve known better.” Play with willingness to accept consequences, and to offer support if things go wrong.

Minky is not liable for your behavior. However, a DM or Minky moderator may stop your scene if they feel that it is unsafe. They may either ask you to end the scene or continue in a different manner. If you want to try something new, ask someone to teach you or assist you.

Use Safewords

Safewords do not replace negotiation, communication, and on-going consent during a scene, as they are typically used after a problem has already happened and are unreliable as BDSM activities can trigger a physiological fight-flight-or-freeze response. However, please recognize the use of safewords. People often use the stop light system of: Green (“This is good, keep going!”), Yellow (“Stop what you’re doing, I need a break, come check in with me”), Red (“Stop everything now, scene over”). There are also non-verbal safewords, such as tapping out or dropping keys on the ground.

Scene and Play Safer

Minky places very few limits on what play is allowed at parties.

Penetrative sex is allowed at Minky parties. A selection of safer sex materials are available in play spaces; please bring your own as well.

If your scene focuses around elements that, outside of negotiated kink, would go against our We Believe or Safer Space Commitment statements, check in with the DM before you begin. Examples of scenes which require this consideration include race-play, gender fetishism (including feminization and other gender fetishes), and non-consent roleplay. Depending on the space, you may be asked to change plans, scene in a specific space, adjust your volume, or save your scene for elsewhere.

No firearms, stun guns or tasers are permitted at any party, carried personally or as part of a scene.