Our consent policy is a standard to which we hold our membership in any interaction. Reports of violations at Minky events, in Minky’s online spaces, at other groups or events in the community, and in private interactions can all result in moderator intervention and action. As is the case in any private group, attending Minky events is a privilege, not a right, and we reserve the right to limit access as necessary.

Do you need to contact us, or are you hesitating on if it’s worth it to? Give our Contact Us page a read: https://minkymn.org/contact-us

Minky’s Consent Policy

Consent in Minky

  1. Never touch people or personal property without explicit permission.
  2. Do not engage in verbal role-play, honorifics or name-calling unless you have express permission. For example, don’t use honorifics like “sir” or “miss” or titles like “slave,” “mistress,” or “daddy” to refer to yourself during a scene or to refer to others unless you have negotiated consent to use them.
  3. Negotiate the scope of your scene prior to play. Before the scene begins, it must be clear to everyone participating in the scene that all parties have given consent to all proposed acts.
  4. Know and communicate your personal risk profile. Allow all participants, be they top or bottom, to make an informed personal risk assessment in regards to what risks they are accepting by playing with you. If your specific risk factors for a scene place extraordinary or special risk onto participants and those risks are not communicated during negotiation, that may be a violation of consent regardless of if the scene goes well or not. Each participant is responsible for ensuring to the best of their ability that everyone involved has the mental and emotional ability for informed enthusiastic consent.
  5. Participants can withdraw consent, make a nonverbal safesign, or use the universal safeword “Red” at any time. Once consent is withdrawn, the activity must stop immediately. Dungeon Monitors (DMs) will be enforcing immediate cessation of play at “Red” or another safeword that has been previously shared with the event’s monitors. Partners are responsible for sharing which safewords or safesigns are being used. Let the DM know if you are using a non-standard or non-verbal safe word.
  6. We advise against renegotiating at any point during a scene. There is an elevated risk for compromised consent when in an altered state of mind such as subspace, domspace, or fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. During a scene, “negotiating up” in a way that trespasses a partner’s boundaries, from the top or the bottom, will be considered a consent violation if it is reported as a violation to the group, and will be handled accordingly.
  7. Harassment or bullying of any kind is not permitted. If you harass a member or moderator in person, in our online community, in personal communication, or on Fetlife, you are in violation of our community standards and consent policy, and the situation will be evaluated on a case-by-case basis.

Reporting and report handling

  1. If there is an urgent issue at an event, we invite you to find a DM or moderator to discuss your concerns. This may include, but is not limited to, harassment, consent violations, or safer space concerns. Reports may result in immediate action, including expulsion from the event. In most cases, we will ask you to follow-up with a support ticket to ensure a long term resolution.
  2. These rules apply outside of Minky spaces as well. If you need to make a report about a concern whether large or small, or of a consent violation, reach out at any time.
    • The best way to contact us is by creating a “support/report” ticket on our Discord to the entire mod team, or email at minkymods@minkymn.org. You may also direct message a single moderator, who may ask if a ticket can be made, but will otherwise then be your primary point of contact. We will confirm we received your report, and support you as explained in the following section.
    • We understand that processing a violation can take time. There is no time limit on how long you can wait to reach out to Minky leadership.
    • Many reports and interventions are not in response to a consent violation. Minky is an intimate and complex social group committed to a proactive safer space moderation style. We assist in conflict resolution as requested by reporters or as needed when we observe behavior that could result in harm if it remains unchecked, or behavior that otherwise needs correction.
    • We can’t mediate personal relationship problems, but we are also often contacted about social challenges or small issues that happen at events or in scenes or play, at Minky or outside of it, by members wanting advice on how to prevent the same issue in the future, or how to communicate the issue. We consider this also valuable for community safety, and welcome members to contact us for these reasons as well.
  3. Upon receiving a report, we will support the reporter by asking what course of action will make them feel safe in our space, and based on the information we receive from the reporter we will communicate our decision to them, and then to the reported person.
    • We believe reporters about the impact they tell us they have suffered. Other membership including the reported person are not asked, interviewed, or told about a report without the consent of the reporter. Reports and their conclusions are not publicized.
    • While determinations of guilt are a crucial component of an equitable justice system, our group is a private community, not a public tribunal. With the proper skills to listen to and understand reports, we can determine appropriate action and resolve conflicts without needing to fully uncover or pass judgement on “the truth.” Ultimately, our role is not to pass judgement or hold informal court; our only aim is to create and preserve a safe space within our private events.
    • Each report is handled on a case-by-case basis in accordance with the safety and privacy needs of the reporter. Different reporters may seek different resolutions, so we do not assume what they want.
    • We are committed to restoring the reporter’s sense of safety and we will support the reporter in maintaining ownership of their experience and narrative. It is not Minky’s goal to publicly shame or out anyone involved in a report, nor is it to open the reporter up to retaliation, retraumatization, or public criticism.

While every reasonable effort will be made to enforce this policy, this group makes no representations or guarantees about its ability to do so, and all participants/attendees retain full, sole responsibility for their safety and the safety of others with whom they interact.

You can read more about how we handle reports, and some of the reasoning behind our processes, in our bylaws. II.5 discusses reports, and evaluating concerns and disciplinary actions, primarily ones that are not the result of a consent violation. IV.3 discusses processes for managing accountability if a concern or report involves a moderator.